Review:
Peter Scazzero has pinpointed a major reason why so many
Christian churches, mission organizations and other Christian non-profits seem blocked
in their ministry by people within them acting out of “defensiveness, judgementalism,
pride, arrogance, stubbornness, hypocrisy and compulsiveness” (Peter Scazzero, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality," Thomas Nelson, 2006, p.27). He says:
“Christian spirituality without an
integration of emotional health can be deadly – to yourself, your relationship
with your God and the people around you….Emotional health and spiritual
maturity are inseparable…Emotional immaturity is when one allows deep,
underlying layers of our lives to remain untouched by God.” Scazzero acknowledges that for years as a pastor
his “present way of living the Christian life was not transforming the deep
places in my life” (pp. 7, 12, 20, 10).
The Bible repeatedly describes humans as integrated beings with
a body, soul, mind and spirit which deeply impact one another. Un-health or immaturity in one area affects
the health and strength of the whole.
Yet much of evangelical Christianity seems to have attended only to the
“spiritual” part of people’s lives without paying equal attention to their
emotional make-up and the sinful patterns in their past. Scazzero says “True spirituality …takes us to
the very heart of spirituality and discipleship- - breaking free from the
destructive sinful patterns of our pasts to live the life of love God intends” (p.93). Therefore,
his ten top symptoms of emotionally unhealthy spirituality are noteworthy barometers
for each Christian to consider:
1.
“Using God to turn away from God – (doing God’s work to
satisfy me, not Him…doing things in His name He never asked me to do)…
2.
Ignoring the emotions of anger, sadness and fear - (because we are taught: if we are angry
that’s dangerous and unloving; if we are sad, we lack faith in God’s promises,
etc.)…
3.
Dying to the wrong things – (We are to die to
defensiveness, detachment form others, arrogance, a lack of vulnerability, not
to…friendships, joy, art, music, beauty, recreation, laughter )…
4.
Denying the past’s impact - (seen in how we handle
conflict, gender roles, family, security, grieving, friendships) - on the
present.
5.
Dividing our lives into secular and sacred compartments
– (quoting Sider: ‘Whether the issue is marriage, sexuality, money, or care for
the poor evangelicals today are living scandalously unbiblical lives….not
differently from their unbelieving neighbor’)…
6.
Doing for God instead of being with God - (Work for God
that is not nourished by a deep interior life with God will eventually be
contaminated by ego, power, needing approval of and from others, buying into
the wrong ideas of success)…
7.
Spiritualizing away conflict - (so we lie, blame, attack, give the silent
treatment, tell only ½ the truth so we don’t hurt the other’s feelings, avoid,
withdraw, accommodate to be liked)…
8.
Covering over brokenness, weakness and failure…
9.
Living without limits - (constantly giving with no
boundaries because setting limits for ourselves is “selfish”)…
10. Judging
other people’s spiritual journey” (pp. 25-36).
The way to full Christian maturity, he says, is “living and swimming in the river of God’s
deep love for us in Christ…Awareness of and responding to the love of God is at
the heart of our lives. It is also the way we see and treat people and the way
we look at ourselves…Emotional health...concerns itself primarily with loving
others well…It includes naming and recognizing and managing our own feelings,
active compassion for others, breaking free from all self-destructive patterns,
being aware of how our past impacts our present, respecting and loving others
without having to change them, asking for what we need, want or prefer clearly,
directly and respectfully, accurately self-assessing our strengths, limits and
weaknesses and freely sharing them with others, learning the capacity to
resolve conflict maturely, and grieving well” (pp.
75, 47, 45). Each of these areas
are equally noteworthy barometers of maturity into Christ-likeness in character
and behavior.
Scazzero contends that to live “the unique life God has
given each Christian, he/she must no longer live the lie of someone’s else’s
journey” (p. 59) or the lie of the false
self promoted by the world (i.e, “I am what I have, I am what others think I
am, I am what I possess”, pp. 75-77). He says “Many people around us would like to
fix, save, set us straight into becoming the people they would like” (p. 85) but calls Christians to “live faithful
to our true self by differentiation, i.e., defining one’s own life goals and
values [from God] apart from the pressures of those around us” (p.82).
Included in those pressures, he says, are “the actions and
decisions taken in one generation [that] affect those who follow…Each of our
family members or those who raised us through childhood has ‘imprinted’ certain
ways of behaving and thinking to us…God’s choice to birth us into a particular
family, in a particular place, at a particular moment in history granted to us
certain gifts and opportunities. It also handed to us a certain amount of
…’emotional baggage…Discipling requires putting off the sinful patterns of our
family of origin and relearning how to do life God’s way in God’s family” (pp. 96, 99, 93,95). This aspect of discipleship is sorely lacking
in much contemporary teaching and practice.
Scazzero maintains that both redemptive self-awareness and
empowerment to “break free from one’s destructive sinful patterns in the past” (p. 93) require a contemplative spirituality,
preferably in a group setting (p.44).
He advocates a Rule of Life – “a call to order our entire life in such a
way that the love of Christ comes before all else”
(p. 195). Within the spiritual
disciplines “that bring you closer to God” (p.200)
he includes the regular keeping of the Sabbath and the Daily Office -times
throughout the day when one deliberately stops, centers one’s heart and mind on
God in worship, prayers, reading Scripture and silence.” (pp. 157-169).
Scazzero is like many other contemporary authors in his
emphasis on the transforming power of spiritual disciplines, but he is unique
in his emphasis on the emotional component needed in for healthy spirituality. Since the baneful effects of emotional
immaturity continue to plague church and mission organization alike, his focus
is well-deserved. God’s work through
God’s people will be abundantly more fruitful for eternity when more Christians
take the integrated journey for emotional and spiritual wholeness he advocates.
- M.L. Codman-Wilson, Ph.D., 2/17/12