Book Review: Duane Elmer, Cross-Cultural Servanthood, IVP, 2006.

Review:

In Cross-Cultural Servanthood Elmer takes direct aim at the prevailing, though often unconscious, ethnocentric attitudes of westerners in many cross-cultural contexts.  It is a humbling book for North Americans to read – written by a North American who has himself been humbled by the very propensities he describes.  The book draws from Elmer’s extensive cross-cultural experience, both as a missionary in South Africa and as a speaker/researcher throughout the world.   In an apt analogy he says, “All Jesus followers have the choice between the towel (attitudes and actions of servanthood) and the robe (attitudes and actions of privilege and prominence) (22-23).  “The lordly model is not for Christ’s followers” (23); humility is the mandated attitude for all believers everywhere (33).  However, “one of the greatest challenges for cross-cultural ministry is to find those cultural equivalents or cultural analogies that express humility” (34). His book strives to do that.  In this summary, discussion questions are at the end of each main point.                        

- Dr. M.L. Codman-Wilson, 5/24/2011

Summary:

Elmer discusses 5 attitudes needed for a servanthood approach in c/c mission work: openness, acceptance, trust, learning, and understanding.  Those seem basic enough – no missionary would hesitate to endorse them.  Yet the complication cross-culturally is to understand how these attitudes are lived out in a cross-cultural context and what counter attitudes or actions by North Americans undermine them.  Elmer says:

1.      “Openness is the ability to welcome people into your presence and make them feel safe… Hospitality is rooted in the word ‘hospital’ from 2 Greek words ‘loving the stranger’. Thus hospitality is connecting to strangers in such a way that healing takes place” (39, 42-43).  Humans have a tendency for ‘negative attribution’ as they make snap judgments about others in 2-3 seconds.  Therefore, skills needed for openness cross-culturally are (1) suspend judgment – monitor yourself so you can recognize when you are making a negative judgment and stop! (2) tolerate ambiguity (3) think gray – don’t form an opinion about an important matter until you’ve heard all the relevant facts [Thinking gray is a cultural principle not to be applied to Biblical interpretation.] (4) give positive rather than negative attribution (50).

Discussion: Culture shock happens because of the dissonance between life as you experience it in a foreign culture and life as you knew it in your home culture.  It is a normal part of cross-cultural adjustment.  But how has this issue of negative attribution hindered your positive adjustment to your cultural context and your relationships with the people you have come to serve?  What have you done to keep focusing on positive attributions? What has it meant for you practically to learn to think gray in your cultural setting?

2.      “Unconditional, continuous acceptance (the ability to communicate value, worth and esteem to another person) is based on the fact that God has bestowed dignity and worth on every human being” (63).  Cross-culturally what limits our acceptance of others is language, impatience, ethnocentrism, narrow category thinking and dogmatism.  “Americans reveal their ethnocentrism more quickly and assertively because they are more forthright with their thoughts. This may be why many people from other cultures think of Americans as arrogant, controlling and even neo-colonialistic…Americans are quick to identify a problem, offer a solution and then get on to fixing whatever they determine is wrong…But these virtuous behaviors (as seen in the U.S.) can be perceived as aggressive and paternalistic elsewhere, making others feel weak, inferior, defective or disrespected” (68).  Dogmatic people “tend to see difference as wrong or inferior, which must be corrected; they hold to rigid boundaries of belief or practice. The other person needs to be changed, not yourself” (70).

Discussion:  Can you describe a time when you exhibited ethnocentric, neo-colonialistic thinking as you tried to help fix (with all good intentions) a local “problem” cross-culturally? What have you learned to do differently since that time? How do the nationals in your setting describe neo-colonialistic thinking or behavior?

3.      Trust is the “ability to build confidence in a relationship so that both parties believe the other will not intentionally hurt them but will act in their best interest” (77).  “Trust must be built from the other person’s perspective.”  That is the cross-cultural challenge because “trust is built differently in different cultures” (78).  Forgiveness given and received is the key to restoring trust but “forgiveness must be culturally understood – done in the western way of confrontation/face-to-face encounters only makes matters worse” (84).  In most non-western cultures a mediator is used and goes first to one party and then to the other (separately). “The mediator resolves the conflict with fairness while protecting the honor of both parties” (87).  A celebration feast of reconciliation is usually held to “mark the end of the dark time of broken relationships and the beginning of a new day.”  The celebration includes the extended families of both parties.  [A wonderful example is given of such conflict resolution in Sudan.]

Discussion: Describe a recent conflict you had in a cross-cultural relationship.  How did you try to regain the trust of the other individual(s)?  How was a mediator and/or the extended families included in your resolution?  What makes this two-thirds world way of rebuilding trust particularly difficult?

4.      Pride is “the virus of the western educated missionary who tries to help people in the 2/3rds world by telling them how it ought to be done – by that we mean how we do it in the West” (92). Serving others is unlikely to happen unless we become accomplished in all 3 types of learning: learning about others, learning from others and learning with others (93). The latter two forms of learning happen in relationships. “The Canadian International Development Agency discovered that the most important fact in overseas effectiveness was the ability to initiate and sustain interpersonal relationships with local people. Next was a strong sense of self-identity which allowed people to be real with each other” (96).  “Learning from others is considerably more powerful than learning about others. When we learn from someone, it is one of the great honors we bestow on them” (97).  “Being a learner for only a relatively short period of time, as in learning a language, can appear abusive and utilitarian to the local people…when the relationship formed with the language teacher is discarded at the end of the course” (99).  We need to engage in “lifelong learning” from the people of another culture (100).  Learning with another person, as an equal, brings synergy; it is iron sharpening iron.  Learning from and learning with are the attitudes of a servant.

Discussion:  Who are the nationals you are learning from?  In what specific ways?  How do they experience their worth in your presence? In your joint ministry?

5.      “The most frequent response North Americans have in conversation is the evaluative response…i.e, agreeing or disagreeing, correcting errors we might detect, giving a counterpoint, saying ‘Yes…but”.  It would be better to develop one or more of the other responding skills – probing, interpretation, support or understanding.  These contribute to a better dialogue” (123).

Discussion: Role play contrasting conversations (between a national and a missionary) using 3 or 4 different responses - an evaluative response, a supportive response, a probing response etc. How have you seen nationals respond to each other in conversation? Do role plays that demonstrate their responding skills.

6.      “Understanding another culture is the ability to see how the pieces of the cultural puzzle fit together and make sense to them and to you” (125).  “People’s behavior generally fits within a cultural pattern that works for them and gives them meaning and control in their lives” (126).  “When you start comparing and thinking negatively about your new culture, use self-talk: “‘Stop it,’ I told myself maybe 20-30 times a day ‘and get on with living here and fitting in” (133).  The goal is “perspectivism: getting the insider’s perspective, beginning to see as the local people see” (136).  “Seeing things as others see them is the way of the servant.  Seeing things the way God sees them is the way of the disciple” (143).  [There is an interesting application of this principle to the patron-client system.  When missionaries hire locals for work, for example, the locals can agree to work for low wages because they expect this hire to be for life with health benefits. They don’t see the hire as a short term contract.]

Discussion:  As a team, map out the pieces of the cultural puzzle that you think the nationals live by in your context. How do you see their values and presuppositions shaping their actions and the meaning they give to their lives? As you probe your perceptions with nationals, what have you understood well – from their perspective?  What have you misunderstood?  What areas of their cultural map do you need to explore further?

7.      “Power is for service…The way most of us serve keeps us in control. But when Jesus calls us to be servants, we give up the right to be in charge” (172).  “Lording it over people is the Gentile virus (Mt. 20:25).  Gentile exercise of power means “everything feeds into one’s own comfort, status, authority and position” (173).  “The words righteousness and justice mean the same...  Being right with God cannot be divorced from being right with others… Thus if we claim to be God-like, justice must be part of our character” (176). [He gives the personal example of demeaning a maid who worked for them in South Africa by hiring her for the lowest possible wage she would accept. He “lorded” it over her.]   

Discussion: How do you give up the right to be in charge and still fulfill your calling? How can you discern “the Gentile virus” in your own thinking or actions? 

8.      “Power and leadership begin with being a servant of God in the spirit of serving others.  Humble leaders suspend their agenda, vision and personal wishes and listen to the wisdom of God through his people.  Though this is much harder in the cross-cultural context, biblical principles and skills make is possible for all leaders” (178).

Discussion:  Talk about your local mission or non profit’s leadership decisions that need to be suspended in order for nationals to have ownership and input of equal worth.  How do you implement that balance practically?  What are the risks?  What are the benefits?

9.      Living in a cross-cultural context is to experience mystery.  Everything cannot be easily controlled or understood.  It can feel like living in a fog: “the normal clues that orient us are gone…[But] sooner or later, often later, the fog lifts. Things begin to make sense.  Understanding replaces confusion. Confidence replaces doubt.   Belonging replaces a sense of abandonment.  Hope returns.  God was there all along, working actively, not only on your behalf, but in ways that enrich the many other servants He loves.  The fog obscures his presence and his purposes but when it finally clears we realize that God has kept all his promises to us (see Joshua 21:45)” (185).  One of the greatest sources of fog for missionaries is the “stress of interpersonal conflict among missionaries…It is the hardest mystery to bear” (186-187).  These conflicts occur because of personality differences, philosophical differences, generational differences, proximity differences (working closely with those we would not have chosen) and cultural differences. “These and other differences create stress in the early years of missionary service (and sometimes beyond the early years) and cause many to wonder if God is with them, if they missed his call, if there is some severe defect in their spiritual life.  Then they begin to wonder whether they made a mistake or if it is time to go home.  All of these differences can create a really intense fog that clouds our judgment” (190). 

Discussion:  How can you help each other on your team when one or more of you is experiencing “fog”? What are your team strategies for working through interpersonal conflict?  From your own experience of fog or conflicts, what interventions (actions) and attitudes of others have helped you the most? How has the Lord spoken to you in His Word?  How can you help others?